Wedding season’s here! While the dress is being fitted, the flowers chosen and the guest list completed, have you thought about what happens after the wedding day? Have you and your intended asked each other the important and sometimes difficult questions? Many couples choose not to- not wanting to rock the boat or dampen the romantic adventure, however in order to build a happy, healthy and stable marriage, there needs to be honesty. Premarital counseling can help you tackle the tough stuff.
In the following weeks I’ll address different topics to help you and your partner begin a discussion.
“Friends” and Other Relationships
Weekly, clients will talk about their partners texting “friends”. Half of the couple feels confused, left out, worried and hurt. While you may not have romantic inclinations toward this friend, the secrecy and exclusivity can cause anxiety and doubt for your partner. Autonomy is important in a marriage but what is considered appropriate behavior? If you feel the need to delete texts so your partner won’t see them, or leave the room for privacy, it’s probably because you and your partner view these relationships very differently. Premarital counseling will help you address this issue before the wedding so that you’re both aware of the others needs and expectations.
Exes can create another problem. If children are involved then the ex will be a part of your life and learning how to get along and be civil is the best advice. However, if children are not present, what, if any role, should an ex boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse play in your life? Are you and your partner on the same page about this? If not, an agreement needs to be reached before you walk down the aisle.
Of course open and honest communication is the key. Doing this alone can get sticky, so Call Me and I’ll help get you ready for the big day!