Communication, Communication, Communication
Good,effective communication is easy. Really, it is. You just need to learn how to do it. Imagine being able to express to your partner how you feel about a hot button issue-or any issue for that matter, and have them not get defensive, not attack you, but Really listen. And then imagine you doing the same for them. It never fails that when you really listen you will discover and uncover things you never knew. I have seen years of anger and resentment fade away in minutes just by truly listening to one another.
It all starts with the ability to communicate well. You will be surprised how quickly things can turn around once you know the skill set. Learning these skills can de-escalate a volatile situation and allow you the space to talk calmly and kindly towards each other. Don’t waste anymore time going through the same crazy cycle. Let me help you turn things around.
When Times are Tough – Invest in Yourself
These are difficult times for many today. Gas prices are high, houses are in foreclosure and the economic outlook isn’t encouraging. The extra stress and strain this puts on a relationship can be very damaging. Before, small annoyances could be overlooked, but now everything seems to be highlighted. A strong, healthy relationship is exactly what you need to get through the tough times. The ability to lean on each other, communicate effectively and retain a good level of intimacy is vital in times like these. Now is the perfect time to invest in your relationship.
A good therapist can assess the problems and start giving you tools and skills to create the lasting change you want. It is then up to the couple to do the work. Often it is simple, easy to make changes that have enormous benefits. It involves looking at the relationship in a new way, expressing and dealing with present and past hurts and moving on to positive and lasting new behaviors.Being able to set and agree upon new goals and strategies is essential to weather any storm that might come your way.
The Best Things in Life are Free or Almost Free
While you may have to cut back on spending, it doesn’t mean you can’t still have fun. It’s so important to laugh and have fun together. My clients know I’m a big proponent of “Date Night”. This is the time for the two of you to go out, have fun, and reconnect with each other. Take turns in planning the evening. This way you share in the responsibility and both get to do things you enjoy. It’s also a good way to surprise your partner with unexpected and exciting experiences.
Try new things! Learn something new together. A new language you’ve been wanting to learn, ballroom dancing (it’s very romantic and great exercise), or a new sport(tennis anyone?) something that you can experience together and create positive new memories.
Reach out to family and friends. Engaging in meaningful relationships and having a good support system can stave off depression.
Finally, some issues may still need the help of a trained professional. In that case, make sure you get the help you need in a timely manner. The sooner it’s dealt with the better it is for the wellbeing of the relationship. And really…aren’t you worth it?